That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and materialism? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Performances so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Shady figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just really boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which seemed a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Rather, the experience was akin to reading a marketing brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart recruitment of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for sexual exploits as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.